Scripture has been prevailing.
I’m guilty of this thing called sin. In fact, I hate sin so much I think I’m helping promote it. How? Well, it’s not hard to show contempt against sin. But it’s hard to separate that hatred to the sinner. They’re so lost and broken that they rely on the nature infested with sin. It’s not easy to love on a broken heart that keeps pretending to be tough. I feel like a failure since I can’t see myself as an active vessel of love. I am used but can’t be used in certain levels of brokenness. Because you can’t fully love if you do not understand love. and you cant understand love if you have not love. I do have love. The greatest love. But sometimes I am not capable enough to love the way iam being unconditionally loved. because i am a sinner. and i continue to practice this curse called sin. Inevitably. Involuntarily. Unfortunately, even naturally. I’m all out of words to extend my expressing soul. I long to be like Christ yet I fail and fail. I am not the answer to a broken and lost soul. Jesus is. But if I could only indulge in Christ, so to always see the price of a saved life . But I fail to love. No. I fail to respond in love. I try so hard to believe. To succeed. To change. But the peace in my being isn’t constantly calmly breathing. At times, there’s a war. Waging. Fighting for God’s peace that I long for. But then he tells me I have saved you by grace. Its good to fight and aim for the prize but , I dont weigh your good deeds. Still. I cant help it. My imperfections scream at me to be willing. But my body is weak.
Its quite complicated. Its good that i fall short. keeps me reminded that i need God. The suffering oddly one can ask for because it produces desperation for a savior. And that’s when His presence is so ever present. So indescribably strong. But falling short also discourages the heart. I am saved. And so I strive. But in the little battles I win so rarely. Even if I give up the physical fight.
What’s so amazing about my savior is as long as He knows my heart is longing to be placed in his hands, there is no need to ask. He knows my worries. And he gives me wisdom. Once I quiet my soul to hear his voice surround me..
A living sacrifice, Romans 12. Whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night, He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season, and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers, Psalm 1.
Reading. can even lead you to enter eternal gates where happy forever after is found. Great. ;)
